stickatology

A Sweet Day

2011-11-04T07:56:00.001+08:00

For the longest time, I haven't been in a real date. Yesterday, I went out with someone special. We had been planning to go out together for a week or two but it was only yesterday that we finally went out. I was s nervous (yeah, like falling in love for the first time :D) because I don't know what to expect. Another thing that made me nervous was someone who saw us before we left our place - the girl who likes him. He was confused at first why I'm trying to avoid her but she saw us so no more reason to hide, I explained everything to him.

We went to a mall and I was glad that the first place we visited was the church in that mall. It was my first time to enter that church, and it was his first also. It feels so good praying there, beside him. I cannot explain why but it feels like we were praying for the same thing - that is, for God to guide our feelings. Why did I say it? Because the night before our date, we were talking about how we feel for each other and we really don't know exactly what it is but we told each other to just pray for it. I prayed that if this feeling is not right, then may God take it away from me now. However, I felt a different kind of happiness yesterday while I was with him. Happiness that is not caused just by feelings. I don't know how to explain it but it was a different kind of happiness - a serene and sweet happiness maybe.

I've known him for a few months and we've been close just after he celebrated his 21st birthday (oh yeah, I'm older). We've been texting for the past few weeks and I don't know where and when it started but our friendship seemed to take one step further. Is he courting me? I don't know. But he did tell me that he likes me and I've got what he is looking for in a girl. He's such a sweet guy and a perfect gentleman. It was funny because I'm not useed to being with gentleman. I've got a lot of guy friends but they're really not gentlemen because they treat me as a guy :D.

Anyway, after visitng and praying at the Chapel of the Eucharistic Lord, we went to timezone for videoke :D. He was telling me about our common friends who had a relationship and used to go to the same place to sing. Then, I thought he wanted to eat at DQ after singing because that's the main reason why we went out together - to eat ice cream. But when we get to DQ he told me that we should eat lunch first so we had lunch at SisigHooray! This was one of my favorite part of the said date because we had the chance to talk seriously. We talked about each other. He told me about his family and his friends and I don't know why I felt so close to him that time. He doesn't usually speak much but that time he was the one talking the most, and asking me questions. He was sharing a part of himself to me and I find that sweet. So finally we went to Dairy Queen to eat blizzard. Since DQ was full of people eating ice cream on a rainy day, we decided to walk again around the mall. We went to Worlds of fun but since we're still eating, we didn't entetr the store, instead we sat at the bench outide. This part was cute. A man was sitting in between us and we're sitting at both ends of the bench but we were texting each other. I can't help but smile coz even if we are not sitting beside each other, we still found a way to talk. Then after finishing the ice cream, we finally went inside the store and played game. He used most of the tokens in the game where you can get a stuffed toy but unfortunately, he wasn't able to get one. He told me that he wanted to give it to me if ever he would be able to get one.

So that was most of the story. That night, when I got home from work, he told me he was happy to be with me and to have time to talk to me personally. He told me he's not sure of what he's feeling but he's really happy to be with me. He told me that he missed me during the 24 hour period that we didn't text each other (sweet^_^).

As of now, we don't know and I don't know where this feelings will lead us but as I said, we were both praying for it. I feels good to be guided by God's will. And by the way, I met him at our church :)

back to my senses again

2011-04-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

i'm back to my own self again :) yeah seriously i've been out of my mind in the past two weeks.. i even thought of leaving PYC for a while because i really don't know what to do..

i wasn't thinking straight during those times..i just felt "emo".. with my broken heart and my tears, i talked to my friends and told them my idea of leaving and much to my surprise... they got mad of me, and almost told me that i'm insane :))

that woke me up from my insanity, realizing that i shouldn't leave my position and of course my friends just because of one person.. he's just one and a lot of people will be affected if i leave.. i realized now that a lot of people love me and i'm just focusing on one person that's why i didn't notice it... they had always been there for me during my "emo" moments and i was just too preoccupied with the thought of happiness..the wrong thought of happiness that relies on one person alone...

one of my friends told me "kaya mo magmove on kung gugusthin mo".. and yes he was right. it's just a matter convincing myself that he's not the world :))

i am decided now... i'll focus on serving God and forget all the heartache :D i want to continue serving for my fellow youth and because this makes me happy.. i had been serving for the past 7 years of my life and more to come.. i'm moving on.. this time, believe me, i'm really moving on for the better.. ^_^

my wonderful 2010

2011-01-01T02:04:00.000+08:00

year 2010 had been a great year for me, there had been a lot of trials yet i was able to surpass them all because of the people around me.. because of that, i think it's just right to thank those people now :)

una syempre sa family ko who were always there to support and love me. :)

to SG:
girls... sobrang miss ko na kayong lahat..salamat sa bonding moments at sa tulong sa thesis.. namimiss ko ung pagkain natin ng lunch together..salamat sa mga panahon na kasama ko kayo lalo na nung depressed ako ng bongga.

to my PYC family:
grabe and dami-dami nating pinagdaanan nitong taon.. as in sobrang dami.. haha nakita nyo na ako mabadtrip ng bonggang bongga because of irresponsibility.. i hope maging maayos na lahat sa PYC.. ayoko mawala as officer ng hindi ko naaayos ang mga bagay bagay.. saka pag nawala ako alam ko naman alam nyo na dapat gawin eh.. tandaan natin ang mga natutunan natin this year ok? :)
ryan-sobrang salamat sa laging pagpapasaya sakin pag alam mong down ako :) salamat din sa gift
geril-anak.. haha marami pa tayo pagsasamahan..salamat sa pagsunod sa demands namin kkahit minsan sobrang rush :)
jem-salamat sa mga bonding sa inyo at salamat sa efforts mo lalo na pagdating samin haha :P (gets?)

to my JLC family:
dami natin bonding moments this year and i must say na ito ung year na naging super close tayo sa isa't isa.. sayang di na tayo nakapag Christmas party.. at syempre naglevel up tayo this year :) sana mas madami pa bonding moments this year :P di ko makakalimutan ung bonding nung birthday ni Mikabelles! :) at syempre ung mga bonding sa tiende :)
Mika-siss super salamat sa mga stories :)
Mel-salamat sa pakikinig at pagdamay sakin that night :) (alam mo na yun)
ate angel-salamat sa panlilibre samin palage at sa pagpapasaya samin :)

to my PDYM family:
dami kong natutunan sa inyo..lalo na on leadership.. you're the best guys..super sarap kasama... at syempre di mawawala ang 3 o'clock habit natin :P salamat sa tiwala nyo sa leadership skills ko.. kung wala kayo malamang lost pa rin ako sa PYC :)
ate anne-salamat sa inspirasyon :) salamat sa condo unit at magic sing hehe..
jc at gladys-salamat sa laging pagsuporta pag hindi ko na alam gagawin sa PYC :)

to The Kayleen Effect:
TKE! rock on! it's been a year mula nung makilala ko ang buong banda :) saya ng bonding moments lalo na ung last practice na pinarinig nyo sakin ung mga compo nyo.. you just don't know how proud i am of you guys.. would you venture your heart to love and hurt again? ako na ang LSS sa kanta na yan at ako na adik pakinggan ung silence please... naku kelangan na talaga kumilos ni manager hehe.. i miss you guys.. sana may studio ako para mas madalas ko kayo makasama.. sobrang memorable kasi lahat ng jamming/bonding moments with you :) salamat sa pagiging protectors at sandalan ko kapag nagiging emo.. you guys are very good friends :D

sa huling nakilala at naging kaibigan ko bago matapos ang taon:
jayson-technically di pa pala tayo personally magkakilala pero parang ganun na rin un kasi kilala ko naman barkada :) ikaw na kasi ang busy sa ospital :P

lastly, sa mga impotanteng tao sa 2010:
gelo-kapatid salamat sa pagsama sakin pag wala ako mahatak na kasma.. salamat sa laging pagpapaalala sakin na magsmile ako :)

bhog-mallows salamat sa lahat lalo na sa 9 days simbang gabi at bonding :) ung plan natin sa january ha :) salamat sa pagdamay sakin sa mga panahon na iyakin ako..kelan ba hindi? haha

don-salamat sa lahat ng memories..masaya at hindi lol. i must thank you kasi marami akong natutunan sa loob ng isang taon.. lalong lalo na patience and acceptance.. basta i'm always here as your friend :) hinay hinay lang sa trabaho nakakasira ng pagkakaibigan yan haha joke :P ung next time ha..wag naman next Christmas :P syempre hindi ko makakalimutan ung nangyari nung dec.28 haha bonggang kahihiyan bago natapos ang 2010 at malamang na hindi pa dun ung nagtatapos :))))

jeff-sa pinakamamahal kong best na laging nasa tabi ko para damayan ako sa mga masakit at malungkot na nangyayari sakin.. at sa pagshare ng kasiyahan ko kapag masaya ako.. ang taong kahit di ko madalas makasama eh sigurado akong di ako iiwan.. best, it has been a tough year for me and you were there to give me strenght everytime that i become weak. i also get to know more of your friends through you and i should thank you for that. thank you for reminding me of how special i am. i know you'll be busy with med school in the next years to come but i hope that we could still hang out and have a talk.. syempre mamimiss ko ung mga banat mo lalo na kapag tungkol kay Rockstar :P i love you best :D

thank you everyone :) i love you all :-*

Eat.Pray.Love

2010-10-22T23:18:00.003+08:00

Last night, I watched the movie Eat Pray Love starring Julia Roberts. I haven't seen a movie in a cinema for quite sometime and i must admit that the story of this movie really moved me. It moved me because I can relate to the main character, Liz (Julia Roberts).

The story revolved around Liz, finding herself again after deciding to have a divorce with his husband. It featured how she was able to cope up with the pain of losing herself after she got married and how she eventually tried to love herself and find love again. She went to Italy where she savored her appetite with Italian delicacies. Meditated and learn about God in India. And she opened her heart again for love in Bali, Indonesia. In all of these destinations, she met people who taught her lessons about life and love.

It was the perfect movie for me. why? because I've been trying to cope up with the pain I'm feeling now. This movie taught me a lot of lessons and answered a lot of questions in my mind. Honestly, while I was watching it, i feel Liz's friends advice pointing towards me. I feel like I really should watch that movie and listen to the lessons that the movie was teaching me. I realized how much I've lost myself in search of love and now I know that I need to get back to my senses again and love myself more for me to be able to love somebody.

I'm already in the state of Eating and Praying and I really can relate to Liz. As of now, whenever I feel sad and lonely, i eat... at night and i feel so alone, i pray to God. I'm asking Him to help me understand why things happened and why I'm feeling this kind of pain now. It helps a lot - eating and praying. But when it comes to loving again, I must admit that I'm not ready for it as of the moment, not too soon. I'm really afraid now to fall in love again.. afraid of getting hurt again. I know it would take time for me to forget the pain but I also know that God would heal these wounds.

"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

when September ended

2010-10-10T14:22:00.002+08:00

so now all is clear... well, at least most of my questions had been answered when September ended..

September 28 at around 10pm

him: may lakad ka ba bukas?

me: wala naman. why?

him: i think we need to talk

me: hhmmm about?

him: everything

this conversation startled me and made me so nervous... i was thinking what he's going to say.. i sent a message to his brother who was also surprised by the news. i must admit that i can't get over that message and we talked for about an hour or two...talking about random stuff.. i thought i'm going to collapse while we we're having a conversation in YM. that night, i find it hard to sleep..thinking about the positive and negative things that could happen.. i kept on thinking more of the positive since we had our normal, fun conversation..

September 29

(around 8am) i got a text message from the "other" guy asking me about the status message of the guy and i asked which status message and he said "bukas malalaman ko kung sino ang mga tunay kong kaibigan".. i apanicked upon reading this message.. i didn't see this status message and it already hit me.. what he's going to say isn't something positive..

i was bothered by the thought the whole day and i was trying not to think about it so i busied myself with the task at hand.. and around 5pm he texted me telling me that he still has a lot of work to do so we'll just meet the next day.. i was so disappointed 'coz i want to clear things that moment..i want to stop thinking of the what's and if's..

September 30 around 8pm

we met somewhere..had dinner and talked... i wasn't comfortable the whole time since he arrived because i felt that he's so nervous and i was too.. so we started talking about "everything".. he really doesn't know what to say, and i kept on telling him "ano na? sabihin mo na kasi"... it was an EPIC FAIL moment, coz it's just like a guessing game..he wants me to say what i was thinking and je'll just confirm it.. but when he said.. "they say, break it to me gently", i already understood.. then i told him "say it" and he said that's it's like a magnet "nagrerepel"...

i wasn't really prepared for that moment, and he wasn't as well.. it's just funny that when i already felt my tears are gonna fall, he handed me a choknut... as of now, we're back to normal..nothing has actually changed though i must admit that it hit me so hard, waiting for someone for almost a year only to find out that he just can't love me

one step at a time

2010-08-29T20:28:00.002+08:00

a lot of things had happened in the past weeks and i'm still trying to pick up the pieces of myself. trying to feel ok though deep inside, i feel that something's missing. i'm still searching.. no, i guess i'm still hoping that things will get better soon.. i wanted to talk to someone and just cry everything to him/her... i just want to let it all out... the sad part is... my closest friends are busy and i don't want to disturb them with their own lives so i can't do what i want :(

i'm trying to feel fine..yet it seems to difficult for me because of the situation...i feel so lost...

hurting inside

2010-08-15T21:36:00.002+08:00

why do i always end up falling for someone i shouldn't fall for? in the end, i always have to pick up the pieces of my my heart...of myself... i'm so tired of it all... i wish i could tell someone how badly hurt i am right now, yet, i don't know who to turn to...

i hate him! he's done too much damage to me... at first i thought he'd help me move forget about the guy i've been waiting for so long... he did diverted my attention but i think it didn't help me at all for i've fallen for him when i know i shouldn't...when i know he had no plans on pursuing me... definitely he had no plans on getting into a serious relationship with me... he had a lot of girls around her who likes her... i was badly hurt when he told me that he was just sweet and caring because he wanted to win in our deal.. coz i told him before that i would never fall for him and the one who first fall for the other loses... he then said it's just a joke but damn it! it's no joke for me... and how would i consider that as a joke when he totally changed after saying that to me... he's not sweet anymore and i just always hear him talk about his "girls"... i know i'm so stupid to fall for him in the first place but he gave me a reason to fall for him... it's my fault in the first place.. i shouldn't have told him so much about me... i never thought that he'd let me fall by using my weaknesses... i hate it! i shouldn't get hurt, but i feel like he just played with my emotions... :( he makes me happy whenever he's around, whenever we talk, but now? it just hurts me when he says "i love you"... i don't know what he wants me to think when he says that when he also told me that he doesn't want to cross the line.... argh! i just hate this!!!! :'(

way back into love???

2010-08-03T21:46:00.003+08:00

haven't posted for sometime about my love life... i feel so happy as of now but at the same time, i also feel lost... lost in thoughts about three guys haha..

i must admit that i'm missing the feeling of being in a relationship. it's been two years since i had a romantic relationship and i really miss the feeling of being loved by someone.. until somebody came.. let's just call him MAP (Mr. Almost Perfect).. that's my codename for him since i started to have a crush on him. but he's so slow. last sunday, he finally told us (me and our common friends) that he likes me, not just as a friend but as a girl and when asked if he wants me to be his girlfriend, he answered yes. that was the happy part of the story. he was then asked why he's still not courting me until now and he said that he wanted to attend a retreat/recollection first so evryone got disappointed coz it only means one thing... i need to wait more...

but why should i wait when there's someone loving me? we'll i hope he's seriously in love with me.. let's just call him CF as in close friend. so he's a close friend of mine who's obviously giving me "signals" and yes, he's telling me "i love you" but i think that's just "i love you friend". what bothers me is that he's getting jealous when i'm with MAP.. and not just with MAP but also with RS.. he's not like this before and i never thought that he'll get jealous with the two other guys because he's been teasing me to those guys, and keeps on telling me to just forget about MAP and just pursue RS. i was really shocked when i found out that he felt jealous during the time that i chose to be with RS than go home with him. i don't know what he's planning to do now but i'm getting nervous coz he likes surprises. i like him but because he told me before that if ever he falls in love with me, he wouldn't cross the line. he'd chose his friends over me, so that's what i'm thinking, that i shouldn't fall for him.. but what's this he's trying to do now? it's so difficult to resist the sweetness.

RS for Rock Star. he would remain as a rock star for me, i wish to see him play the guitar again, and how i wish he'd play a song for me :) the last time i saw him, i was so happy because i was able to see that smile again and it's not everyday that i see him smile. he's a guy with a serious type of personality and i always feel nervous around him coz i don't know what to say or what to talk about, i'm glad that we're starting to get closer to each other and most of the time he's starting the conversation. i know he only likes me as a friend but i really like him and we'll im happy being his close friend but i still wish to be his first and hopefully last girlfriend :)

enough of this insanity. i better go to bed and recharge for tomorrow's work. ^_^

my 23rd birthday! :)

2010-07-10T15:12:00.008+08:00

I'm 23 now and still not getting a life LOL.. i had a great birthday celebration this year and it's one of the most memorable birthday that i've had since i
didn't make any effort in celebrating, my friends did...and it's not just a day but almost a week-long celebration.. what happened was not what i had expected, full of surprises.. the funny thing is that on the exact day of my birthday, i was just at our house..people had been thinking that i'll be busy that day, but the truth is that i stayed at home, sleep, took care of my cousins and that's it :) and the day after it, three of my closest friend wanted to go out with me but of course i just chose one :)

July 4, 2010
2pm: i met Gladys at SAAP since we decided to go out, if you know my first wish, you'll know why i asked her to go out that day :) while we we're on our way to Mega mall i told her about Ryan's text message telling me that we need to start the countdown. and she just said "countdown ng birthday nya?" and i just laughed at it then told her that what he's referring to is 24-hour countdown of my birthday and Gladys just laughed at it because she really doesn't know it. so when we got to the mall, she treat me at Crepes and Creams and we talked for about two hours..she just let me talk :) wish no.1 granted

around 5pm: we arrived at our church's conference room for we'll be having our monthly Parish Youth Council meeting. the first thing they noticed about me was my hair and they said "Basya?" and all throughout the meeting they we're teasing Don, asking him what he plans to do for my birthday.

after the meeting, Don, Jem and I went to "tapsihan" cause they don't want me to go without celebrating my birthday with them. much to my surprise, I was able to convince Don to eat veggies that night :) before he ate the cabbage and carrots he just said "happy birthday" (FYI: he doesn't eat veggies so it was an achievement for me)

me and Don at Tapsihan ng palatiw

after eating they still don't want to go home, and i said i like to eat ice cream. so we dropped by the nearest convenience store and Don bought ice cream for me :) and then we went to our house to eat the ice cream :)

July 5, 2010

as i've said, i just stayed at home. we didn't have a celebration since our family is planning to have just one celebration for me, Anton, Papa and Marti.. the July birthday celebrators :)

me and Adrian...i like my new hairstyle :)

July 6, 2010

i had an interview at DanAsia, Inc that morning and when i got home i received a message from Don asking me what time i would like to watch Eclipse and i said we'll just meet that night around 7pm since we're watching the last full show. and after that, Jan texted me asking me if i still have the energy to go out and watch a movie with him :) and i said it's ok as long as i can still go to Megamall by 7pm. so we met at SM centerpoint and ate at Odd Balls :) i like their fishballs but not the Chinese gulaman :| there's something in the gulaman, an odd taste, but i don't know what it was :) i had fun with Jan and actually, i cancelled the movie date that night :)) (he doesn't want me to see his doppelganger :))) and since i was enjoying his company, i decided to tell Don to just reschedule our movie date and he agreed to it since he's still sleepy when i texted him:))

our cool movie tickets (cool because it only costs 16 Php)

i had so much fun with Jan, knowing he's a real joker but that day, i've seen another side of his personality, which i enjoyed a lot :)

July 7, 2010

The other guy who asked me out that day (July6) was Ryan, my churchmate :). he texted me that day asking me if we could meet but i was on my way to Sta.Mesa that day so i told him to just meet me the next day. when we met around 6pm i was laughing at him because he bought a lot of noodles and pancit canton and i asked him "is that the surprise?" and he was just laughing. we talked for while and afterwards he gave a plastic containing an envelope and he told me to just open it when i got home. i was thinking what it was coz he told me i would really be surprised and when i opened it, i can't help but laugh..yeah i laughed at what i saw inside...some BPI stuff, a card and a novel..haha no, what i mean is a letter, a long letter from him which contains our funny moments together...i was surprised because he still remembered when we first met.. and everything written on the letter was our story... it was like I was talking to him while i was reading it because he even included his expressions on the letter. :) and well, he achieved the purpose of his letter - to surprise and make me laugh. :)

but wait there's more.. :) i'll be watching eclipse with Don tonight :)

fun! fun! fun! birthday celebration :)

wish wish wish

2010-07-02T23:14:00.002+08:00

2 days left before my birthday.. i don't know if i should get excited or not..yet i'm hoping that the day would be a great day.. i'm thinking of things i want for my birthday and here they are (in no particular order)

-let everything out of my chest (i've been thinking a lot in the past few days)
-have a UP jacket and new UP shirt
-be with my closest friends
-have a date with my top 3 crushes :)) (MAP,UC and Rockstar xD)
-Blue Boy Bites Back album
-have a job, love life, social life :))
-food! Black forest or blue berry cheese cake (yummy)
-be with TKE again :)

i can't think of anything else :)) simple wishes for my birthday! i just want to be happy on that day, and i'd be happy if i'll be with my loved ones during that special day :)

someone i shouldn't fall for

2010-06-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

last night, i had a dream about my rockstar crush...well, yes! he's a rockstar (well for me he is indeed a rockstar)the dream was kinda weird for me, because in my dream, we were with his friends (who i haven't met yet) and they locked us up in a room, just the two of us. i can't remember much of the details but i remembered that we held each others hands :)

he's someone so interesting. why? coz he's musically inclined, tall, silent type of guy yet he has deep thoughts :) well, his expertise in guitar was the reason why i like him. his personality was the first thing that attracted me when we first met, then the "crush" feeling fade away until i saw his video where he was playing the guitar...i was stunned by the way he played the guitar. i get to like him more when i saw him play the guitar in person :) he was so into the music that i can't help but stare at him...

after saying all this things, i know that i shouldn't fall for this guy for quite a few reasons. he's like an award i would never ever get. it's just COMPLICATED!

"would you venture your heart to love and hurt again?"

holy week activities

2010-04-02T21:35:00.004+08:00

This year's holy week celebration is the most fruitful holy week I've celebrated so far...we've done several activities and I attended the parish's activities for the whole week...

Holy Monday - Parish "Daan ng Krus" was held and we walked around the community to commemorate Christ's Passion...it was a tiring activity but I was able to pray and remember what God has done for us...

Holy Tuesday - the Parish Youth Council was assigned to join the "Pabasa" which was held at the delos Remedios hall of San Antonio Abad Parish...that was the first time that I attended a pabasa, when i was a child i just hear it from our neighbors..after the pabasa, we prayed the rosary...

Holy Wednesday - we attended the mass before the procession...we also joined the procession and prayed...a lot of people attended the procession...

Maundy Thursday - this was the most tiring day of the week..we attended the Chrism mass at 6 am in the Immaculate Conception Cathedral where all the priests of our Diocese were there to renew their vows...we were there to support our new parish priest Fr. Darwin Calderon...after the Chrism mass, we went to our parish to have breakfast and then we started cleaning the church and arranged the seats for the mass in the afternoon...around 12:30 we went to Manila to conduct Visita Iglesia..we went to different churches in Manila...we visited the Manila Cathedral, San Agustin Parish, Basilica of San Lorenzo Ruiz, San Sebastian Parish, St. Jude Parish, San Beda, St.Anthony de Padua and Loreto Parish...I was so amazed with the beauty of each of the churches that we visited...a lot of people are also visiting those different churches...in each of the parishes, I told God the desires of my heart (there were 3 as of now)...Gladys, Jem, JC, Don and I were so tired because we just walked to go to the other parishes and it was so hot that day but I enjoyed it a lot because of the designs of the church, the bonding that we had and of course because I felt God's presence in each church...around 4:30pm we went back to Pasig and headed to Don's house to freshen up and for him to be able to dress up since he's one of the Apostles in the mass :)..6:00pm, we attended the mass: washing of the feet and the Lord's supper... i felt already exhausted during the mass but the homily was good and i really tried to stay awake...after the mass we had dinner and went back to the church because we're assigned for the vigil at 11pm...during the vigil, I was able to pray solemnly since there were moments of reflections...when i got home around 12:30 my body felt so exhausted but i can say that my spirit was so high because of the reflections and prayers that i made during the day...

Good Friday - well because i was so tired yesterday, i woke up around 12 nn at i watched the 7 last words on TV...at 3pm i went to the church to attend the mass...after the mass, was the procession where there were more people compared to last Wednesday's procession....

Black Saturday and Easter Sunday - tomorrow we will have the Easter egg painting and we'll attend the easter vigil at 9pm...and we're going to attend the "salubong" on sunday at 5am..we're going to give the easter eggs to the children who'll attend the mass...

it's a tiring week but i really had a great time with my friends and i feel like i'm closer to God...I offer to him everything that I'm doing...I'm happy serving God and i will never get tired of serving Him because I love Him...here's a video of "we are the reason", i love this song because it reminds me of God's love to us...

always the bestfriend

2010-03-07T22:12:00.003+08:00

just had some realizations lately...it's so funny why i always fall for a friend but always end up as the bestfriend... yeah, maybe i'm just not the girlfriend material but a bestfriend material...it happened not just once...it happens all the time...

i don't know why i always fall for a friend...maybe it's because of the closeness that we have and the comfort that they are giving me whenever i'm down...the first time that i experienced falling for a friend and getting hurt was when i was in high school..i've fallen for a close friend and was hurt many times because he tells me almost everything when it comes to his girlfriend (who happened to be our classmate as well)...the most hurtful moment was when they broke up and he gave me a piece of paper where he told me that he wanted to die...we talked over the phone that night and he was crying and on the other side of the line..i was silently crying with him...he doesn't even know that time that i love him 'coz if he knew then maybe he wouldn't be telling me everything...the sad part was when i told him the truth...he never talked to me again...

this happened twice in college...during my first year, well, another sad ending...i don't know why he got mad at me...after i left UP Manila i thought we would still be ok but then i don't know why he got mad at me and he chose to ignore me...until now, it's still a blur to me...we we're ok back then but suddenly he doesn't want to talk to me anymore....it happened again in UPD...I became close to someone who i never thought would be a very close friend to me... i chose not to let him know what i really feel for him...and i've chosen not to expect for anything in return...until now, i'm silently loving him...i wanted him to know but i would never risk our friendship this time because i don't want to lose him...i'll be contented in letting him feel that i'm always here for him...it just makes me sad whenever he's hurt...sometimes i just want to tell him "andito naman kasi ako, mahal kita"...but as i've said, i would not do that...

this time, i'm close to a person who i want to be with for a long time...what's the real score? i really don't know...i just know that he told me that he's not yet ready for a commitment and i can't do anything about that...he's always beside me, making me laugh most of the time...lifting me up whenever i'm down... i don't know where it would end...but i'm hoping that we would end up being together but if not, then i guess that's what's meant to be...i cannot force him to love me back...i just can't help falling for him...but i told myself that i wouldn't expect for anything this time...i would just enjoy his company, his sweetness....

first time

2010-02-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

Feb.4,2010...the day when best hugged me for the first time...big deal? yeah coz i really want to hug him ever since but i'm too shy to do so but now, he did it and i really feel glad coz it's in the right timing...i was so tired and felt so alone the whole day, doing my thesis and still alone at our tambayan when he came and hugged me...that hug took away all the stress that i felt for the whole day...i missed best so much though it was just a week or so when we last saw each other...i always miss best 'coz i can be myself when i'm with him and i feel secured and contented whenever i'm with him...

honestly, his presence made me realize that i don't need a boyfriend anyway...i have a best like him who doesn't judge me, who's always beside me, who understands and love me for who i am...most importantly, he'll be with me no matter what...with him i feel special...he's someone i wouldn't want to lose...ever! i want to show him that he's one of the most important guys in my life right now...i love my best and that wouldn't change no matter what :D

hoping....

2010-01-30T21:55:00.003+08:00

i was shocked last night when i've read my best's status in FB...i texted him immediately but that didn't change my mood...he texted me this afternoon to thank me and well, he still didn't forget telling me that he's hoping that i'm ok...that touched me so much...he's now faced with a big problem and yet he still thinks about me...my best, he's just extraordinary....

he just texted me a while ago and for the second time i was shocked and saddened because he and his family is faced with two difficult situations now...i don't know what to do...i wish i could be there beside him and tell him that everything would be ok...i wish i could be beside him so he wouldn't feel alone...all i can do to help him now is to pray for his mom and dad...

honestly, at times i envy best for having a great family...i haven't met them personally except for his dad but from his stories, i know that he has a great family, which i don't have... this is one reason why i really feel sad now because i know that he loves his family so much...

i know he doesn't know this but everytime that he's sad, hurt, i feel twice the pain... i don't want it when he's depressed... i just want him to be happy...whenever he's down, i just wish i could make him feel ok...i'm wishing i could do something for him now...hoping he'll be ok...

i told him before that i dedicate this song to him...and i want him to know..."hindi kita bibitawan"

learning from the past

2009-12-31T00:19:00.001+08:00

i said i'll go to bed now but still i'm thinking too much so i decided to rummage through my old blog entries...and i suddenly realized that that's where i would find the answers...this is not the first time that i've been in this situation and i should have learned from what happened before...

this time i would "step up"...i'll do it this time...no backsliding...no turning back...i need courage to get what i want...i dont want more what ifs and what could have been...i need answers and i can only get answers if i would face the problem...i hate this confusion and i won't let this confusion empower me...

here's a part of my old blog entry...

"There a lot of decision making process that we have to go through but as of now I think choosing between friendship and love is one of the hardest decision to make. After choosing between the two, you would have to think of answers to those “what ifs” that you have in mind. It’s really hard to fall for your friend especially when you’re really close to each other. You would have to face those hear-breaking moments where he tells you how happy he is with his girlfriend and how much he loves her or worst when he tells you how badly he was hurt because of their break-up. This is really one of those times when you really have to be strong for him and for yourself as well especially when you don’t want him to know that its tearing your heart. Some of my friends tell me that I shouldn’t fall for a friend and they should be off-limits. I always tell them that you could tell your heart to whom it should fall for and to whom it should not. You may tell yourself “I will not fall for him because he is my friend…” I tell you, this is easier said than done because sometimes you fall for someone you vowed never to fall for and when that happens, it’s not easy to stop the feeling. Another dilemma is whether to tell it to him or not. In this case, I think no one can tell you which to choose but your own self. It’s up for you if you are willing to risk the friendship or you are willing to bear the pain because he doesn’t know that he’s hurting you. But what’s confusing me right now is how to know if your friend already likes you. It’s really hard to tell whether he already likes you or not. What if he treats you so special compared to your other friends, does that mean that he likes you? What if his actions show that he likes you but then he has not said a word to tell you that he really likes you? What if everything shows that it’s not mere friendship but then he really never tells a word about it? What if he does things more than what a friend should do? What if he’s just too sweet to resist? I want answers!!! But I know it’s only through him that I can get the right answers but I would never ever ask him!!! Other questions that’s worrying me… What if he just treats you so well because you’re important for him as a friend? …What if you fall for him but then he just sees you as a friend?… What if... you fall for him? … And what if you tell him? … Would he just ignore it? Tell that he loves you too? Or worst, stop seeing you and let go of your friendship?…WHAT IF??? I needed someone to tell me answers to these questions…I’M TORN AND TORMENTED!"
http://stickatology.blogspot.com/2005/08/torn.html

search for answers

2009-12-20T12:41:00.002+08:00

the other night i was browsing through my multiply site and looked up at his multiply site... that was the first time that i read through his blogs which dated from 2009-2006...i was started reading through the 2009 entries down to his very first blog entry...while reading through his blog entries, a lot of questions are popping in my mind... that was the first time that i realized that behind his happy personality is a man who had been badly hurt because of love... i was just speculating based on what i read but i felt his pain and realized that maybe...just maybe, this is the reason for his hesitation... i guess he had been hurt bad his past experience and might be afraid to fall in love again... i wanted to talk to him about it but i don't know how...i don't know where to start...

as i was going through his blogs, my fear had dawn back on me... i suddenly realized that my inner fear is still there... my fear of loving and getting hurt again... when he was still my crush my closest friends (especially best) know how much i'm trying to control my feelings... first reason, i don't want to fall for a friend again because i don't want our friendship to get ruined...2nd reason is that i'm afraid to get hurt again... i'm afraid of falling in love for a friend again because i had a bad experience before... it happened during my high school days... i've fallen for my closest friend only to realize that he's falling for our classmate and worst of it, he always tell me about her and he cried and talked to me when they broke up... those we're the hardest times of my life... when i told him about my feelings, he didn't talk to me again... and this happened not just once... i don't want this to happen to us now... i really like him...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

confusion strikes again

2009-12-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

i know i shouldn't think too much but i just can't help it...after that night when he texted me with that kinda weird message, i can't help but think about it...when he indirectly told me about waiting, i got confused but i must admit that i also felt happy that time... happy because he wouldn't ask me to wait if there's really "nothing" between us...he wouldn't say that if he doesn't like me at all..right? and i asked him why but he just told me that he can't answer my questions as of now...that added to my confusion since i don't know what to do...though i know i want to wait for him...

patience...i guess i really need to learn about it...and a very patient person and people know that... i don't easily get mad and not that "strict" when it comes to call time, especially if i'm waiting for someone i really want to be with...but now, it's just too difficult for me to do it...why? because i don't know the reasons why he told me that...what's holding him back...and other questions that i wanted to ask him...am i in a rush? no! i'm not in a rush to have a relationship but i want answers... i hate it when i'm not given any reason because i don't know what to do...

i love him...that the only thing i'm sure of as of now...i want to be with him...grow old with him... i know that God has plans for us and i'm in no position to try to intervene to His plans...i just need to wait, wait, and wait on what would happen next... i hope he wouldn't let me wait for too long... but i know i can wait until he's ready...though it's difficult for me because i really want to tell and let him feel how important he is...i want to show my feelings but i can't for i'm afraid that he might not be ready for it yet...i don't want to ruin what we have now...our friendship... i just hope it wouldn't end there...

My AYD Journey

2009-12-01T22:23:00.001+08:00

Sleepless nights…pressure…stress are over…but it was all worth it.

Days in the Diocese of Pasig has ended on Nov.23, 2009 when we accompanied the delegates to Mall of Asia for they have gone to the Asian Youth Day proper at Imus, Cavite. Three days of their stay here at the Diocese of Pasig had been very fruitful and full of joy, laughter and happiness.

Months of preparation for the D.I.D…well most of it went well although there had been problems encountered and yet we were able to face all of it. We were able to do it because of each other’s helping hand and of course His guidance. It had been a very memorable experience for me. It was the first time that I have been involved in an international activity that involved a lot of people and I must admit that it has never been easy for me. It was also the first time that I headed a team where most of the members are “stranger” for me at first but they eventually turned out to be good friends. It has never been easy working with people I’ve met for the first time, the steering team, transpo team, and all of the volunteers, yet I was able to do my best, to give what I can just to serve my fellow youth and God. There had been moments when I wanted to give up because of the big responsibility that has been put upon my shoulder but thanks to those people who helped me gain confidence and who gave me strength.

It has been a great experience meeting new people…from the volunteers to the delegates, and being closer to those I already know before. It was nice working with the steering team for I have learned a lot from them…my so called good leaders…they have thought me a lot about leadership and knowing what you can do… I have known limitations and they willingly fill in the gaps. I have learned that there are people who can and who willingly give everything for service, for the youth, and for GOD. They willingly sacrificed their time, effort, money, and everything they could for this event to be a successful one. Personally, I can say that it was all worth it… I enjoyed and learned a lot during the preparation and the event itself… it was a wonderful experience to meet new friends… to meet the delegates… to work with the steering team… to share experiences with the volunteers… to find love… and to find God during this journey.

I’m proud to be one of the volunteers… proud that I have done something I thought I cannot do… proud to serve the youth and proud to serve God.

YAsia Fiesta: Young Asians, Come Together, Share the word, Live the Eucharist. ^_^

mr.almost perfect

2009-10-27T23:04:00.002+08:00

haven't been blogging for quite a long time... but i guess this one should be "recorded" here since it's not everyday that i can meet someone like him...

i have known this guy for a year or so...first impression? he's a simple guy and a shy type...and yes i was right...he's simple but not shy... :) he's a bully...a real bully.. :D but he's really a good guy with a good heart...

what really caught my attention was his desire to serve not just God but the people as well... he did not allow anything to be a hindrance in helping other people and that's what i call service... he's also responsible..he whole-heartedly do whatever task is assigned to him and he does it with dedication... he's also a good example of someone who shows humility...

i can't deny the fact that i'm falling for him but i wouldn't let this feeling ruin our friendship and our closeness.. if he's the one that God has sent for me, then I can wait... he's like a living angel sent to show me how it is to really serve God and others...

just can't help it

2009-10-15T21:42:00.000+08:00

what's happening to me this time? can't help thinking about someone i shouldn't be thinking...no! there's nothing wrong on thinking about him but not this much!!!

he's even in my dreams...and all i want to do is just to talk to him...be with him...argh! this is so not good!

he's such a good guy..yeah, so good i didn't even realize that i'm liking him too much...

he has a good heart and that's what i like about him...he's always willing to help...a good servant of God, a very respectful guy...

i always like being with him..though he always tries to annoy me, i miss his presence all the time...

i've never been addicted to someone for quite a long time but he's just so addicting :)

i don't know what to do...i want him to know how i feel but i just can't do that...

why? why do i always fall for a friend? :(

Love not time heals all wounds...

2006-03-27T18:48:00.000+08:00

its been so long since the last time i have updated this blog...kasi naman di naman memorable ung mga nangyari eh...nasaktan lang ako pero bitter days have ended...

grabe na to...ang dmaing weird na nangyari samin ni bong. Well, Bong, si papa bear, as bf ko na since yesterday, march 26, 2006. Grabe tlaga, ang saya kahapon, di ko lam kung pano ko ieexplain ung pakiramdam ko kahapon, halo halo na rin kasi eh.

Ganito kasi un, nung march 6 may binigay akong lata sa kanya na may lamang qoutes (actually, di ko rin alam kung ano itsura nung laman kasi selyado talaga ung lata at kelangan talaga ng can opener). Ayun, tapos nung march 20 nung pauwi na kami galing sa baywalk, napagusapan namin na bubuksan nya un kapag sigurado na xa sa nararamdamn nya. tapos un nga khapon dala nya ung lata at binuksan nya habang nasa simbahan kami. tpos binasa namin ung laman at may weird n nangyari. Bgo un...nung march 15 habang nasa edsa central kami, sinulatan namin isat isa...dun sa sulat ko sa kanya huli kong sinulat ay "Love not time heals all wounds".... balik sa kwento... nagbabasa kami ng qoutes at ang weird kasi ung huling qoute na nakuha ko mula sa lata, ang nakasulat "LOVE NOT TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS". Pareho kaming nagulat, basta kasi ang dami nung qoutes dun ewan kung bakit un ung huli kong nakuha. oh tapos un na nga nagtnong na sya...ang saya saya ko talaga...
tapos nagvideoke kami, nood sine, tambay at nagsimba. Basta sobrang saya ko talaga pag kasama ko sya.

Sana maging ok lahat samin. at least hindi long distance relationship, anytime pede kami magkita kasi taga pasig din sya. Official tambay na nga kami ng plaza rizal at na videoke sa merriam bookstore eh. Hay, para sa inyong kaalaman, mahal na mahal ko po talaga si papa bear.

so happy this new year!

2006-01-02T20:00:00.000+08:00

hay grabe, another year had passed. dmi nangyari sa 2005 masya ung iba at ung iba d gaano pero lahat ng un may naitulong skin. Lalo na ung sa isang friend ko. Anyway, ayoko magdrama ngayon kasi masaya talaga ako... bkit? Tanungin nyo na lang ung baby ko, kung kilala nyo sya, hehehe

may nakilala lang akong someone na naging friend ko, hehe, ang saya talaga! Basta iba talaga sya! Ibang iba sa iba kong nakilala... dahil sa kanya kaya ko nakalimutan ung pagsesenti ko. Dahil din sa kanya, naging masaya at makulay ang pagtatapos ng year 2005.

Ayoko muna sya ipakilala, ska na lang. Basta ngayon, masaya ako na nakilala ko sya. Sa isang iglap nawala pagiging bitter ko, hehe. Siguro nga nababaliw ako pero kung dahil sa kanya ok lang. Ewan ko kung maniniwala ung ibang tao samin pero masaya talaga kaming dalawa.

Hay, gusto ko na makilala sya ng mga taong malapit sakin kaso kelangan ko pa sya intayin e. Sbi nga ng isang friend ko bka trip lang pero sya na mismo ng test dun sa tao at di nya kinaya mga sinabi nung someone na un. Sya mismo, sumuko sa paguusisa e.

Cguro nga maraming magsasabi na hindi to totoo pero kami wala kaming pakialam basta masaya kami at mahal namin ang isat isa.

Happy New Year! :)

im afraid...

2005-11-22T19:55:00.000+08:00

wla lang, kanina nagpacheck up ulit ako...wahhh... ndi pa ako magaling, may iuundergo na naman akong test...

natatakot na naman ako...sana ok lang kalabasan nung test... ayoko sa ospital, ewan ko basta ayoko dun!

waahhh... sana andito ka para icheer up ako... kaw lang kasi, ahhhh ayoko na!

hangang kelan ka ba magiging ganyan???? napapagod na akong maghintay....

wish....

2005-10-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

may wish lang ako ngayong mga oras na ito... ano un?

isa lang naman eh... un ung makausap sya...

sobrang nami-miss ko na talaga... these past few days... masyado ko syang naiisip... hindi ko lam kung ano dapat kong gawin... nahihirapan na talaga ako... bakit ba kasi biglang naging ganito?

wahhh.... sana may mabait na taong mag-grant ng wish ko... ayoko na rin kasi umiyak eh...

miss na talaga kita sobra.... :(

rehab!

2005-10-17T20:07:00.000+08:00

naaliw ako sa sinabi sakin kanina ng doktor...hehehe...dapat daw akong ipa-rehab...ang saya dba? pero hindi naman dahil adik ako eh. Meron daw kasi akong mild scoliosis. 10 degree ung curvature. di naman daw malala. kelangan ko lang magpagamot sa physical therapist at ayun maaayos pa naman daw.

wala lang. masaya lang ako ngayon kasi ngayong araw na to, nalaman ko kung sino ung mga taong concerned talaga sakin... nakakatuwa talaga... ang saya pa sa upm kanina kasi nagpunta kami sa g-box. na-miss ko yun eh. at sa tokyo-tokyo na sobrang memorable sakin.

anyway, un lang muna. :-)

...ups and downs...

2005-09-28T19:51:00.000+08:00

naaaliw talaga ako sa mga nangyayari sakin ngayon... ang daming hindi magandang mga bagay ang nangyayari pero mas madami ung mga masasayang bagay sa buhay ko.

nung isang gabi, hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla na lang ako nagdrama... (nagdrama ko dahil naalala ko si.... hay naku kasi...) buti na lang nandyan si Lee to rescue me from my loneliness... ayus talaga sya kasi sa kanya ko nakakakuha ng mga inspirational words to brighten up my mood...sabi nya sakin alalahanin ko daw ung memories para maging masaya ako at hindi para lalo akong madepressed....astig talaga sya!

aside from Lee, andun din ung astig na guy sa dlrc...hehehe...si ----....hehehe.... ang cute nya magsayaw kagabi... astig talaga! ang saya pa nyang tao...waahhhh.... sya ung isa sa nagpapasaya sakin sa mga times na sumasakit na yung ulo ko sa mga subjects ko... natutuwa talaga ko kapag nakikita ko sya at ang smile nya... kahit ndi kami masyado nag-uusap, masaya na rin kasi binabati nya ko pag nagkikita kami...

at eto pa....un pang mysterious guy na lagi kong nakakasabay sa peyups... wla lang bigla kasi syang lumilitaw sa mga unexpected na pagakataon eh... tapos kagabi nakita ko din sya ulit at kasama din sya sa mga nagsayaw....kelan ko kaya sya makikilala???

ang saya talaga!!! with my friends and these three guys, nalilimutan ko ung pagkamiss ko sa isang taong sobrang importante sakin....kelan ko kaya sya ulit makakausap? miss na talaga kita!!! sana masaya ka sa buhay mo ngayon....

bakit ba kailangang mahirapan ng ganito???

2005-09-16T19:39:00.000+08:00

pahirap talaga ang math 17! sobra ng pahirap, patalsikin si --------....hahaha...joke lang! pero grabe talaga ung exam namin kanina sa math 17 nakakadugo ng utak sobra! ewan ko ba kung bakit sobrang pinahihirapan kami ng prof namin.... bwisit na identities yan oh! ginawa kasi nyang kumplikado ang mga bagay eh...

anyway, excited na ko para sa uaap cheerdance competition tomorrow...watch out for the up pep squad! ang saya talaga...

miss ko na barkada ko sa upm...sayang kasi hindi sila lahat makakapunta sa araneta bukas...nakakamiss talaga lalo na nung tumawag si abet sa'kin kasi naririning ko yung mga boses ng ibang frat tapos parang ang saya-saya nila...nakakamiss lang kasi ung mga ganong moments eh...hayyy...tapos may galit pa ata sa'kin...sana maayos pa to...sobrang miss ko na rin kasi sya...

tama na ang drama...basta GO UP PEP SQUAD! HETO NA ANG UP! WALANG TATALO SA GALING, WALANG KATULAD ANG DATING!!!!

errrr....

2005-09-07T19:58:00.000+08:00

hay naku sorry sa mga nagbabasa ng blog ko ha...kelangan ko lang talagang ilabas lahat ng sama ng loob ko sa isang taong sobrang importante sa kin...

hay naku...bwisit talaga sya!!! I HATE YOU!!!! kasi sana kung galit sya sakin sinabi na lang nya eh o kaya sana hindi na lang sya nagsalita kasi mas kakayanin ko pa un eh... pero the fact na binastos nya ako sa harap ng friend ko???...tama ba naman un??? oo siguro para sa kanya wala lang yun pero nakakainis talaga eh... hindi ko nga man lang alam kung bakit hindi nya ako kinakausap ng matino eh...kung dahil lang sa isang bagay na dapat ginawa ko pero hindi ko ginawa, shit pre ang babaw nun!!! isa pa ilang beses na akong nag-apologize dahil dun at akala ko naman ok na sa kanya... shocks... how i wish alam ko kung bakit dba? pra hindi ako nagmumukang tanga at nababastos ng harap-harapan!!!

ang ayoko lang kasi sa lahat eh sinasagot ako ng pabarang lalo na kung maayos yung pagtatanong ko... ewan ko ba... cguro nga nag-oover react ako sa paningin ng iba pero peste naman eh, cno bang hindi maiinis sa attitude na pinakita nya... parang hindi kami magkaibigan eh...errrr... gusto ko na talaga sya i-confront kanina pero damn it i wouldnt waste my energy to someone who doesnt even know how to respect other peoples feelings...

bahala na sya sa buhay nya, ako kasi nagawa ko na yung part ko... i tried to reach out kahit napapahiya na ako kasi ayokong masayang ng ganun-ganon na lang ung friendship eh... pero ayoko na... kung ayaw nya talaga ako kausapin bahala sya sa buhay nya... ngayon lang ako napuno ng ganito eh... as in sobrang gusto kong sumigaw at isumpa sya...

sana talaga hindi ko na lang sya nakita kanina para hindi na lang ako naasar... basta ako hindi na kita iisipin at mag-aaral na lang ako dahil dun may mapapala ako kaysa naman ... NAGPAPAHALAGA AKO SA ISANG TAONG BINABALEWALA LANG AKO!!!!!!!!!!

ULAN (CUESHE)

Lagi na lang umuulan
parang walang katapusan
tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon
parang walang humpay
Sa kabila ng lahat ng aking pagsisikap
na limutin ka
ay di pa rin magawa

Hindi naman ako tanga
alam ko na wala ka na
pero mahirap lang na tanggapin
di na kita kapiling
iniwan mo akong nagiisa
sa gitna ng dilim at basang-basa pa sa ulan

Pero hwag mag-alala
di na kita gagambalain
Alam ko naman ngayon may kapiling ka nang iba

Tanging hiling ko sa'yo
na tuwing umuulan
maalala mo sanang may nagmamahal sayo.....

Lagi na lang umuulan
parang walang katapusan
tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon
parang walang humpay
Iniwan mo akong nagiisa
sa gitna ng dilim at basang-basa pa sa ulan

Pero hwag magalala
di na kita gagambalain
alam ko naman ngayon
may kapiling ka nang iba

Tanging hiling ko sa'yo
na tuwing umuulan
maalala mo sanang may nagmamahal sayo....ako
LaLaLaLaLaLa..........

senti...

2005-09-04T19:32:00.000+08:00

hay naku grabe na talaga ito...last time ang saya ko tapos ngayon eto na naman ako at nagsesenti...kasi naman feeling ko nagtatampo pa rin sya sakin...hindi ko naman ginusto ung nagyari eh...feeling ko tuloy ayaw nya na ko kausapin...ano ba dapat kong gawin? kasi naman eh...ang lakas nya topakin... eh ako nga madalas ko sya naiisip kasi sinanay nya ako sa isang bagay na eventually ay mawawala din pala... bakit ba kasi masyado akong attached sa kanya eh... pero hindi ko naman gusto un eh, hindi ako ung lumapit at nakipag-close...hayyyy....

anyway, ung tula sa last entry ko ginawa ko yun nung aug.23 sa main lib sa upd kasi wala akong magawa at syempre kapag wala akong magawa ay nagsesenti ako...hehehe...ginawa ko un para sa kanya kasi nga namimiss ko na sya... sabi ng friend ko sabi nya daw namimiss nya din ako pero ewan ko sa kanya kung bakit sya ganon... cguro nga nagtatampo lang sya... gusto ko na nga sya i-confront eh pero hello? i know i dont have the courage to do that again...tama na...

para sa'yo to!

2005-09-01T20:49:00.000+08:00

HOW I WISH

Now I sit here all alone
Got nothing to do but reminisce
I cant help but think of you
Oh, how i wish you were here.

I miss your smiles and your laughs
I miss your stories and your sighs
Those memories I'd keep forever
Oh, how i wish we could be together.

You came into my life just at the right time
Just when i was about to give up
You cheered me up and i was glad
And now i wish that youre here by my side.

You made me see the beauty of life
You made me appreciate its ups and downs
My life is worth living coz youre a part of it
And i do wish that i'm part of yours too.

Now im wishing too hard
That we could bring back the okd times
When you were there always beside me
And i was hoping that these wishes can come true.

i dont know why!

2005-08-14T05:28:00.000+08:00

hay....eto na naman ako....may iniisip na bagay at tao...ewan ko nga ba kung bakit pero...he's really into my system right now... hindi ko talaga sya mainitndihan...simula nung nakilala ko sya confusion ang dinala nya sakin...hay, hindi ko sya dapat iniisip pero kasalanan nya to eh...nakakainis talaga sya...bakit ba kasi ganun sya? i only want to know one thing from him pero ayoko nga itanong... masyadong malaki ung risk this time and i think its not worth risking... mas hindi ko kakayanin pag wala sya... pero alam ko namang dahil lang to sa desisyon ko eh... pero ganun talaga... basta, ewan... sana maging masaya ung ending... maybe this song will tell you how i feel right now... ahhhh...ayoko ng ganito!

CONSTANTLY
NINA
I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t known you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much
Too much too strong
Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

CHORUS:
Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you

Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you’re seeing in each and everyday
Should I play this game
Of just being your friend
When I know that’s not where
I want it to end
How could this be wrong
When the feeling so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart
::Repeat Chorus 2x

No I don’t want to start
No trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by I see
love in your eyes
::Repeat Chorus 2X

baliw!!!

2005-08-10T20:24:00.001+08:00

hay naku bat ba may mga taong sobrang weirdo???

nakakaasar kasi hindi mo maintindihan takbo ng utak nila....

baliw talaga sya....

minsan sobrang bait at sweet...

minsan di ko malaman kung may pms (joke!)

ano ba talaga kuya???

papahulog na kita sa bangin ng matauhan ka eh...

hay naku...nakakainis ka talaga!

TORN!

2005-08-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

I can't help it... just enjoy (how i wish) reading it!

Sometime in our lives, we get to the point where we are required to choose and to make decisions. The time when we don’t have any other choice but to choose between the choices placed down before us. During these times, we have to look inside ourselves and make a decision based on what we think might work best. Doing decision is not an easy thing to do, it requires a lot of thinking and balancing the choices given to you. But sometimes, we have to sacrifice something when we’re torn between the choices. It’s not just you sacrifice it for a day or two but sometimes we have to really give it up.

Sometimes we have to choose between our family and our own happiness. I really think that this is such a great decision that one has to face. Most people sacrifice their own happiness for their family. I think that was just right but then you cannot just give up your own happiness because you will soon regret regretting your own self. I think this is just a matter of choosing which or who to prioritize first and how much attention you should give to each thing or person. But who am I to know how it really feels to be in this situation. I don’t know, maybe I’m telling all these things…

Sometimes we have to choose between our career and friends. What I mean here is that sometimes we have to sacrifice the time we have for our friends in order for us to reach our dreams. Based on my experience, it’s hard at first especially when you have to go away from your friends just to follow your dreams and aspirations in life. Eventually I realized that your friends will be there whenever you need them and distance would not be a hindrance for you to still bond with each other. What I am really thankful for is that God had given me friends who really supported me in finding myself, in letting me follow where dreams, in helping me overcome the obstacles that life brings, for making me happy and contented when I’m with them and most especially for making me feel that I’m important and loved. I know that without them, I may have just given up to the challenges that I face. I’m really proud of my barkadas namely PEK and FRAT for they are superb friends!

Sometimes we have to choose between our friends and the one we love. I’m glad I’ve never been in this situation. If ever I would be in this situation I would definitely choose my friends. If I chose my friends, I do hope he would fight for our love because though I would choose my friends I will still let them understand how important he is to me and I hope he would do the same too. I would really be glad if he would prove to them that he really loves me and he has to convince my friends that he would treat me right and that my friends can trust him to take care of me. But I really don’t think that my friends would let me choose between them and the person I love and I do hope that that guy would not let me choose either because when he do that… Sorry but I have to say goodbye to you because if you really love me, you should accept me as a whole and my friends as well for they are a part of me. (Hahaha…I really don’t think this would happen but who knows?)

There a lot of decision making process that we have to go through but as of now I think choosing between friendship and love is one of the hardest decision to make. After choosing between the two, you would have to think of answers to those “what ifs” that you have in mind. It’s really hard to fall for your friend especially when you’re really close to each other. You would have to face those hear-breaking moments where he tells you how happy he is with his girlfriend and how much he loves her or worst when he tells you how badly he was hurt because of their break-up. This is really one of those times when you really have to be strong for him and for yourself as well especially when you don’t want him to know that its tearing your heart. Some of my friends tell me that I shouldn’t fall for a friend and they should be off-limits. I always tell them that you could tell your heart to whom it should fall for and to whom it should not. You may tell yourself “I will not fall for him because he is my friend…” I tell you, this is easier said than done because sometimes you fall for someone you vowed never to fall for and when that happens, it’s not easy to stop the feeling. Another dilemma is whether to tell it to him or not. In this case, I think no one can tell you which to choose but your own self. It’s up for you if you are willing to risk the friendship or you are willing to bear the pain because he doesn’t know that he’s hurting you. But what’s confusing me right now is how to know if your friend already likes you. It’s really hard to tell whether he already likes you or not. What if he treats you so special compared to your other friends, does that mean that he likes you? What if his actions show that he likes you but then he has not said a word to tell you that he really likes you? What if everything shows that it’s not mere friendship but then he really never tells a word about it? What if he does things more than what a friend should do? What if he’s just too sweet to resist? I want answers!!! But I know it’s only through him that I can get the right answers but I would never ever ask him!!! Other questions that’s worrying me… What if he just treats you so well because you’re important for him as a friend? …What if you fall for him but then he just sees you as a friend?… What if... you fall for him? … And what if you tell him? … Would he just ignore it? Tell that he loves you too? Or worst, stop seeing you and let go of your friendship?…WHAT IF??? I needed someone to tell me answers to these questions…I’M TORN AND TORMENTED!

...i ThOugHt...

2005-07-16T23:08:00.000+08:00

I’m back to give an update about what had happened to me this week…

Naparanoid na naman ako this week kasi naman kung anu-anong naiisip ko…haaayyy…akala ko kasi pareho ung magiging reaction nila…pero sobrang maling-mali ako…bakit ba kasi ikinukumpara ko sya dun eh sobrang magkaiba nga sila…dati nung huling nangyari sa’kin to eh nung mahal ko pa si Mr. D….pero as I’ve said dati yun…(Love Moves in Mysterious Ways pa ung pinakikinggan ko ngayon…sakto).

Anyway, naging masaya yung takbo nitong week na ito kaysa last week. Actually masaya ko this week. Nung Tuesday kasi nagpunta ako sa UPM… ang sarap balikan nung memorable place na yun. Memorable kasi dun ko ginugol ung first year ko as college student… dun ako nagsimulang matuto ng maraming bagay tungkol sa college life… dun ako naging member ng 1st org ko sa college Organization of Area Studies Majors (OrgASM)… 1st crush ko sa college dun ko rin nakilala si Kuya Paolo (kasi sobrang talented nya eh)…higit sa lahat, dun ko nakilala ang FRAT kung saan nagkaroon ako ng mga kaibigan na sobrang naiintidihan ako at mahal ako…Balik sa kwento, masaya ako na makita ulit ang FRAT at makasama sila kahit sa sandaling oras lang pero feeling ko kuntento na ako nung time na yun… pakiramdaman ko kumpleto na ako kaya nga gusto ko sanang maulit yung pagpunta ko dun eh…( Burn na yung kanta, ganda ng duet nila Nina at Christian Bautista)… Ayun kwentuhan lang kami pero ang saya though medyo tinamaan ako dun sa sinabi ni ** na, “Siya nga nagawa nya tayong iwan eh, bakit di natin sya iiwan”, (hindi yan yung exact words pero yan yung thought)… pero ayos lang kasi pabiro yung pagkakasabi saka naintindihan ko naman eh… tapos yun past seven na ata kami nakaalis ni Jobelle sa 7-11 kasi kumain kaming dalawa at nagkwentuhan kasi hindi na naman ako maubusan ng kwento…basta ang saya ko nung araw na yun!

Nung Wednesday grabe may make-up class kami sa math pero ayos lang after nun nanood naman kami sa AVR para sa Kas2 namin…Dapat may practice kami nun ng sabayang pagbigkas para sa Comm3 kaso pagbalik ko hindi ko na sila mahagilap kaya tumambay na lang ako sa lib kasi nandun din si Jec. Nagbasa lang ako nung “A Walk to Remember” ni Nicholas Sparks at sobrang nakakaiyak at inspiring yung story…mas gusto ko yung book kaysa sa movie eh…Tapos yun kinwento ko kay Jec yung nangyari sa UPM at yung ka-weirduhan kong ginawa at sabi nya sa’kin sana sya rin daw maging expressive through words…

Tapos nung Thursday, nanood kami ng play ng Dulaang UP yung Floy Quinto’s “St. Louis Loves dem Filipinos”. Ang ganda nung play, lalo na yung mismong theme at medyo nakakaiyak sya at ang galing at ang ganda nung production talaga… ang galing ni Bulan (main character) kasi sobrang nabigyan nya ng justice yung character at ang ganda ng boses nya at in fairness gwapo sya… ang ganda ng boses nung mga characters at galing din nila umarte syempre. Kaya lang mga 10:30 pm na nung matapos so medyo natakot talaga ako sa pag-uwi kasi gabi na nga tapos wala ng jeep na katipunan so kinailangan pa na maglakad palabas ng UP para makasakay ng tricycle…buti na lang nakasabay ko si Anjo, classmate ko sa comm3… sa sobrang kaba ko wala akong ginawa sa sasakyan kundi magdasal pero buti na lang at safe naman ako nakauwi…

Friday, ang saya nung Comm3 kasi nung araw na yun namin ipe-present yung sabayang pagbigkas pero wala pa kaming napapraktis na kahit ano…buti na lang at hindi 8:30 nagsimula yung klase…nakakakaba pa kasi akala namin panget yung nagawa namin tapos yung isa pang group (2 groups lang kasi) hindi sila nagpapractice so kami iniisip namin na baka perfect na talaga yung kanila… dumating na yung moment of truth.. ako mismo nagulat sa performance namin kasi nagkasabay-sabay kami sa actions at buo yung boses nung group… after magperform ng 2 groups sabi ng prof namin ang Hamon #2 namin, kailangan naming i-perform yun sa 3 mataong lugar sa school so nawindang kami pero after nya sabihin sa group namin ung comment nya sa ginawa namin naging ok na kami…ang taas ng grade namin…1.25 at sabi nya dapat daw flat 1 kami kaso kinulang ng emotion ung mismong boses pero ok daw ung facial expression at movements…sobrang saya talaga nun… nung hapon naman at kasama ko sina rem at jec di ko alam kung bakit masyado akong naparanoid matapos kong maalala yung ginawa ko…natatakot kasi ako na baka hindi nya na ako kausapin at baka kung anong isipin nya pero tulad ng sabi ko mali yung iniisip ko tungkol sa kanya… ang gulo ko na naman…

Ang ganda ng Nina Live…wala lang gusto ko lang sabihin though hindi ko masyadong gusto si Nina ang ganda ng rendition nya nung mga kanta lalo na yung Burn, Love Moves…, Steep, I Love You Goodbye, The Closer I Get to You (feat. Thor) at Cool With You…pero sa totoo lang maganda lahat…gusto ko na tuloy sya… ayan nga ang mga nangyari sa’kin…I’ll end this with my fave line in the book Mr. Write…sweet kasi eh…

“I know no end on desiring you…” (Gito, Mr. Write)

not another sad ending!!!

2005-07-11T04:23:00.000+08:00

hay naku, hindi ko na naman maintindihan ang sarili ko this past few days...after my birthday tatlong bad news yung dumating sa'kin...

1st nung wednesday, nagtext si shey sa'kin sabi nya patay na daw si sir Llames yung teacher namin sa math at enmath...grabe na-shock ako kala ko pa nga di totoo kaya nagtanong ako kay jec...pero yun nga eh..totoo yun so talagang nakakalungkot...nung dumalaw kami dun nung friday nalaman namin yung totoong dahilan...dun namin nakita na sobrang dami na ng estudyanteng natulungan ni sir romy...nakakapanghinayang talaga yung pagkawala niya sa RHS kasi iba talaga sya compared sa ibang naging math teacher namin eh...pero ok lang din kasi kasama na sya ni GOD ngayon at alam kong doon hindi na sya mahihirapan..

2nd, nung thursday sa geog1 class namin...kasi may activity kami na ipapasa nung araw na yon pero di namin napasa...ganito kasi yun, nung tuesday nagkita kami ni Arturo, di ko kasi alam bakit yung ibang groupmates namin ay di dumating...tapos yun nga sabi nya sakin sya na lang yung tatapos nung activity...nung thursday na natapos yung period pero di pa sya dumadating...i texted him para tanungin nga kung bakit di sya umatend at kung nagawa ba nya yung activity...nagreply sya hapon na tapos na-shock ako talaga sa nireply nya...sabi nya naholdap daw sya at nasapak pa kaya di na sya umabot sa class namin at nagsorry pa nga sya...although hindi kami masyadong close naapektuhan ako masyado at naguilty kasi ang iniisip namin ung activity hindi man lang namin naiisip kung ano na nangyari sa kanya...hayyyy...

lastly, nung friday di ako natuloy sa upm...bad trip talaga ung our...ineexpect pa naman ng frat na dadating ako...nasabihan pa tuloy ako na nakakainis ako pero ok lang kasi alam kong pabiro lang yun pero nakakaasar talaga kasi sobrang miss ko na sila lalo na.....ayoko na...

anyway, about the sad ending...i've just finished reading two books..."Between Dinner and the Morning After" at "Mr. Write"....ung pangalawa happy naman ung ending pero akala ko sad din muntik ko na nga di tapusin eh...basta maganda ung story akala ko kasi di nila pagbibigyan ung feelings nila but in the end napagdesisyunan nilang sundin ang tinitibok ng mga puso nila...bakit ba sobra ko syang nami-miss???

yung between dinner and the morning after sad ung ending...ang maganda dun ung girl, si Abi sinunod nya yung puso nya kahit walang kasiguraduhan sa pagkikita nila ng dating "boyfriend" or ka-fling or whatever...nagpunta talaga sya sa San Francisco para lang sa guy kaso may iba na yung guy...nakakalungkot nga eh...hindi ko alam kung bakit masyado akong affected...hay naku, bakit kasi ang sweet nya???

ako kapag sumusulat ako ng story lalo na kapag love story, hindi happy yung ending, kadalasan pa nga masyadong tragic ewan ko ba kung bakit, siguro narereflect dun ung mga nagyari sakin...meron akong sinulat based talaga sa totoong buhay pero ung ending hindi totoo...ang title nun "Friend of Mine" obvious naman kung tungkol sya saan dba? minsan nga ipopost ko un dito...anyway, nung 2nd sem sa upm, may sinimulan akong story pero di ko pa natatapos kasi feeling ko hindi na naman happy ending eh...cguro itutuloy ko na lang kapag nakaisip ako ng magandang ending...ayoko na ng ganitong feeling...ang hirap!!!

ung buhay natin ay isang story...we dont know if it would have a happy ending...hindi rin natin malalaman kung anu-ano ung mangyayari sa buhay natin...ang kinaiinisan ko lang, bakit ba kelangang masaktan ka na lang ng paulit-ulit...ang masakit pa dun hindi mo alam kung dapat ka ba talagang masaktan...ang gulo kasi eh...hindi mo alam kung gusto ka ba nya o talagang ganun lang sya...mahal ko na talaga ata sya eh...peste talaga...ayoko na ulit ng sad story!!!

FrEsHteEeG!!!

2005-07-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

Grabe ang saya ng concert nung friday!!! Dahil dun medyo nalimutan ko yung mga iniisip ko about my studies, in a way, nakatulong yun para naman makapag-unwind ako…ang saya talaga sobra. Kasama ko nga sina Jec, Tin at Kerby e. si Rem kasi dapat sasama kaso di sya pinayagan eh pero at least nag-enjoy pa rin kami kahit kaming apat lang.

Hindi namin alam kung anong oras sya magsisimula at in-assume na lang namin na mga 7 o’clock kasi nga concert yun so hindi maaga magsisimula. Pagdating namin dun ng 7 grabe ang haba na ng as in palibot na dun sa buong bahay ng alumni pero buti na lang pinaghiwalay yung pila ng freshies at nung mga may ticket. Mabilis din kami nakapasok kaso hindi na namin inabutan ung ibang bands kasi 5 pala yung start. Pero ayos lang nagpeperform na yung Mojofly nung nasa pinto kami at medyo nasulyapan ko naman sila at nakakanta din ako ng “mata” at “minamalas”. Astig talaga yung boses ng vocalist ng band nila.

Next performer yung Kjwan at iba talaga ung performance ni Mark Abaya at sobrang proud sya na UP student din sya at binati nya ung mga freshies. Ayos naman yung performance nila. Next yung Sandwich at yun talaga ang matatawag na performance level sobrang todohan na talaga to kaya yung iba ang gulo na. Yung mga ibang nagperform yung Cambio, kasama din nila si Ebe ng Sugarfree at enjoy din sa performance nila. Tapos sino pa ba?…In any order na lang nga…Yung Mongols din nagperform at in fairness ang gwapo ni Ely Buendia…sayang nga kasi wala na ang Eraserheads eh…Nung una, nung yun pang mga kanta nilatalaga yung kinakanta nila, di masyadong buhay yung audience pero nung bigla nilang kinanta yung “Alapaap” grabe biglang nabuhayan yung mga tao. Iba pa rin talaga epekto ng kanta ng E-heads sayang nga lang talaga at naghiwa-hiwalay na sila, gusto ko pa naman yung band nila dati.

Nung turn na ng Sugrafree biglang nagising yung mga tao kasi astig talaga sila…Una pa nilang kinanta ung “Burnout” eh isa yun sa mga favorites ko kaya sobrang sigaw talaga ako…Tapos kinanta naman nila ung “Prom” at kilig to the max ang audience…galing nila!!! Last song nila yung “Hari ng Sablay” at sobrang nakisabay sa kanila yung crowd ingay sobra pero sobrang saya…pinalitan nga ni Ebe ung ibang lyrics eh…sabi nya “Kayo ang hari ng UP…” Galing nila magperform kasi nagising ung audience.

It’s Kitchie Nadal’s turn at sobrang pagpasok pa lang nya tiliian na agad ung mga students eh kaya sobrang tinodo nya ung pagkanta. Di ko alam ung title nung 1st song nya pero maganda din ung meaning. After nun sabi nya kami na daw ung magsabi kung anong kakantahin nya at syempre sinabi ng crowd ung “Same Ground”. Sabi nung iba pangit daw mag-live si Kitchie pero para sakin ok naman kasi mataas naman ung energy nya at tinatry nyang ibigay ung performance na gusto ng audience. Last song nya “Bulong” at gumulo na naman ulit ang mga tao. Ung mga katabi nga namin mukhang mga trasher nagi-slamman talaga kaya medyo lumalayo kami kasi puro lalaki sila at sobrang gulo.

Nagperform naman ung Moonstar 88 at Kamikaze. Iba na tlaga ung vocalist ng Moonstar88 at mas gusto ko pa rin ung original pero ok din naman sya magperform at taga-UP din sya. Sinasabi pa nga nya ung mga jokes tungkol sa UP eh pero sobrang luma na kaya alam na rin nung ibang estudyante. Kinanta nila na alam ko ung “Sulat” at “Torete”, ung isa kasi nun ko lang narinig eh. Nung Kamikaze naman naupo muna kaming apat kasi ang sakit na ng binti namin at medyo nakakahilo kasi mainit tapos ung electric fan nagbubuga ng tubig kaya medyo malamig ung hangin at ang sakit sa ulo. OK ung vocalist ng Kamikaze eh ang kulit kung anu-ano sinasabi. Sabi ba naman nya mag-enjoy na daw kami kasi baka daw bigla nang magunaw ung mundo at least masaya ung mga huling oras namin tapos pabayaan na daw namin ung mga nagkakagulo sa labas at ung gobyerno mga wala lang daw magawa ung kaya mag-enjoy na lang kami. Tapos ung naging sobrang gulo nung mga rockista kasi syempre kamikaze un. After nila ung iba nag-alisan na.

Parokya ni Edgar na at sobrang tiliian talaga, talunan ung mga tao at slamman talaga. Gosh, iba pa rin ang Parokya ang galing nila sobra! Dati pa lang sobrang gusto ko na sila kasi astig ung mga kanta nila. Shocking talaga kasi 1st song nila “Halaga”, inaasar nga ako nina Jec at Tin eh. Sabi ko nga pasalamat “sya” dahil wala sya dun kasi kung nandun sya isisigaw ko talaga sa tenga nya ung bawat lyrics nung kanta. Nung time na yun ko nabuhos lahat ng gusto kong sabihin through the lyrics of the song, medyo bumabalik nga ung heartache eh pero ayos lang kasi…basta… ito ung favorite kong part dun sa kanta… “Minsan hindi ko maintindihan, parang ang buhay natin ay napagti-tripan. Malabo na nga yata ang mundo, Binabasura ng iba ang syang pinapangarap ko!!!”… Anyway, ung next song “Okatokat” at since wala si Vinchi naki-jam ung vocalist ng Kamikaze kay Chito at ang galing nya, bagay ung boses nilang dalawa. Kinanta nila ung “Buloy” at “Yes, yes Show” Ang galing nung sagutan nina Chito at nung vocalist ng Kamikaze.

Lastly, ung inabangan ko talagang band…HALE… Grabe ang gwapo talaga ni Champ…sobrang lakas talaga nung sigaw ko at ng mga friends ko kasi well un ung inaantay namin…ung first song nila nun ko lang narinig pero astig din…tapos syempre “Broken Sonnet” at “The Day You Said Goodnight”. Masaya ko that time pero nalulungkot din ako kasi may naiisip akong tao…ung rason kung bakit di ko na masyadong naiisip ung “past”…hehehe…ewan ko pero nakakaasar kasi hindi sya nakasama sa’kin for certain reasons…pero sobrang hindi ko alam…(mahal ko na ata sya eh)…oh no!

Anyway, after ng Hale, Session Road pero di na namin pinanood kasi 12 na nun eh baka wala na kaming masakyang taxi pauwi kaya ayun. Hindi na nga namin naantay ung Sponge Cola at Mayonnaise eh pero ayos lang masaya ung gabing un…Malapit na pala b-day ko pero mukhang di na kami maghahanda eh malamang family na lang namin pero ayos lang…pero sana makita ko ung mga barkada ko at ung “present”…hay naku nobela na naman ito…

life in UPD

2005-06-26T13:36:00.000+08:00

Thank God I survived my first year in college at di lang yun, binigay Nya pa sa’kin yung wish ko na makalipat sa UPD. Oo, nasa Diliman na nga ako ngayon pero sobrang hirap ng mga pinagdaanan ko para lang makapag-enroll. Hay… grabe talaga yun.

Last June 2, day ng enrolment namin sa UPM, habang nasa Tokyo Tokyo kami ng FRAT, nalaman ko na may slot na para sa’kin sa Food Tech. So nagmamadali akong pumunta sa Diliman that time. Then, kinabukasan, after namin magpunta sa DOST for that tiring contract signing, punta naman ako sa UPM para magpa-clearance. Hindi ko inakala na ganun kahirap kumuha ng clearance. Ang sakit talaga sa paa pa’no ba naman kinailangan kong mag-akyat baba sa hagdan para mahagilap ang mga taong dapat pumirma sa clearance. Syempre di ko yun agad natapos that day so bumalik pa ako ng Monday. Pasaway pa dahil absent nun si Ma’am Sioco kaya di mapirmahan yung Univ. clearance ko, buti na lang andun si ma’am Boncan at sya na lang pumirma. Natapos ko na lahat yun that day although medyo muntik na kong masaraduhan sa registrar kasi nagmamaganda yung mga nasa OCS. Pero anyway, natapos ko lahat ng dapat kong gawin sa UPM that day. Kinabukasan ulit, sa UPD naman ako naglakad ngpapers. First day na ng klase yun eh (june 7) pero wala pa akong form 5! Nung araw na yun, sa isang prof lang ako nakapagprerog. Medyo nawiwindang na talaga ako nun kasi wala yung ibang prof kasi nga first day. Thurs., FS 101 pa lang nga ang na-e-enlist ko at syempre pumasok ako dun. After nung class ko, nag-text si Tin at sinabi nya na may slot pa sa Geog1 nya. Pinuntahan ko nga yung prof nya at nakapag-enlist naman ako. Tapos nag-prerog din ako sa math 17 ni Jec dahil wala ng slot sa Math 14 (5 sections lang kasi) at successful naman. So Friday, kinausap ko ung prof sa Kas2 at mabuti na lang at mabait sya at inenlist nya ako, medyo worried pa nga sya eh kasi baka daw wala pa akong ibang subjects pero sabi ko isa na lang nga kulang ko. Pagkatapos ng klase namin sa Kas2 nagpunta na ako sa CAL para sa Comm3 at nakakuha naman ako kaso Filipino pero ok na rin kaysa underloaded ako. Yun ung nangyari sa’kin sa first week ko sa UPD, medyo nakakapagod pero ok naman kasi tinulungan talaga ako ng high school barkada ko.

Three weeks na nga ang lumipas mula nung start ng klase at so far, so good. Hindi pa naman ako masyadong nahihirapan at masaya dahil may mga na-meet na akong bagong friends. The sad part is… nami-miss ko talaga yung FRAT at ang UPM. Sobrang nalulungkot ako lalo na kapag dumadating yung time na mag-isa lang ako nung nasa UPM kasi ako hindi ko naranasan na mag-isang maghintay ng susunod na klase. Magpapakatotoo na ako ngayon, sobrang nami-miss ko talaga yung closest friend ko sa UPM. Nakakaasar talaga kasi masyado akong nasanay na palagi kaming magkasama at magka-usap, e ngayon ni hindi na kami nagkikita. Nakakalungkot isipin na meron kang kelangang isakripisyo para makuha mo yung gusto mo at yung tao pang ayaw mong I-give up yung kelangang mapalayo sa’yo. Tama na nga, naiiyak lang ako e.

As of now, masaya din naman ako kasi kasama ko pa rin yung barkada ko at mga classmates ko nung high school. Siguro makakaya ko rin ‘tong pangungulila ko sa FRAT lalo na’t alam kong magkikita-kita pa rin naman kami at may way pa rin naman para magkausap kami. Sana hindi nila ako makalimutan at sana maging ok din sila dun kahit na kulang na sila ng dalawa dahil si Grace ay nasa Diliman na rin. Sobrang naging masaya at worthwhile yung first year ko dahil sa kanila.

...MISSING SOMEONE...

2005-05-10T00:10:00.000+08:00

hay naku, dahil summer at nasa bahay lang ako...walang
magawa at namimiss ang mga tao...eto naadik na ako sa music lalo na sa opm bands...
ito ung first single ng hale...hay grabe astig talaga ang melodramatic music nila at sobrang expressive ng lyrics ng mga songs nila...cute pa ng vocalist nila...grabe ganda nitong song na ito at medyo nakakarelate din ako...

BROKEN SONNET
HALE

And now i concede
On the night of this fifteenth song
Of melancholy, of melancholy
And in this next line
I’ll say it all over again
That i love you, i love you

I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do
‘cause tonight i’ll leave my fears behind
‘cause tonight i’ll be right at your side

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And i will never let go
Will never let go

The clock on the tv says 8:39 pm
It’s the same, it’s the same
And in this next line
I’ll say it all over again
That i love you, i love you

I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do
‘cause tonight i’ll leave my fears behind
‘cause tonight i’ll be right at your side

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And i will never let go
Will never let go

I’ll leave my fears behind
‘cause tonight i’ll be right at your side.

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And i will never let go
Will never let go

But still i see the tears from your eyes
Maybe i’m just not the one for you

...reminiscing...

2005-03-30T18:57:00.000+08:00

one year had passed since that day at dian's place (tomorrow was the real date).... that was the last day of our graduation... the day that i faced reality... the day when i revealed something that i hide for almost three years....

that was also the day when a friendship has ended... how i cried that day... after i have said everything, i just burst out... i cried in front of my two barkada... honestly, i don't know why... but i do know that i was hurt when i told him that i wanted to forget him...

but right now i must say that i'm almost over it... i baely cried when i remember that day but i must say that it is still fresh in my memory.. it seems like it just happened yesterday... i'm over it because someone helped me and that someone is still continuing to help me but i don't know if he knew it....

he's someone who let me see that there are a lot of reasons to be happy.... and i'm glad that he's always there to listen whenever i needed someone to talk to... he's just extraordinary...

i made a decision where i would definitely get hurt... i hate to do this but i have to 'coz i don't want to make the same mistake again...no, way! so i think this decision is the best way to get this over with...

purgatory!

2005-03-17T21:53:00.001+08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

CoNfUsEd!!!

2005-03-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

Buti n lang at ako'y may diary dahil kung wala... malamang naipost ko dito ang isang bagay na sisira sa buong buhay ko (oa yun syempre).... thanks to my diary...hahaha...

walang masyadong nangyayari sa buhay ko bukod sa paggawa ng paper...paper ulit...at marami pang paper...bukod dun...isang confusing na bagay lang naman ang gumugulo sa isipan ko....

kwento lang ako...nung monday nagpunta kami sa navotas para sa paper sa natsci4...ok naman dahil mabait yung engineer dun so nakuha namin ung mga kailangan naming malaman...tapos...nagpunta na kami sa bahay ng aking dear friend na si karlo...grabe nakakaasar tong confusing thought na 'to kasi ginugulo nya ang concentration ko...may isa pang nakagugulat na nagyari na lalong dumagdag sa pagiging magulo ng utak ko...tapos nauntog pa ko sa lamesa nina karlo...lalo tuloy naalog utak ko...

ang gulo ko na naman... iniisip ko nang lumipat ng eskwelahan...balak ko na talagang lmipat pero hindi ko maasikaso...kanina sa jeep, iniisip ko ung mga posibleng dahilan kung bakit gusto ko nang lumipat...nakadagdag 'tong distracting thought na 'to sa mga dahilan kung bakit gusto ko na ngang lumipat pero nagdadalawang isip ako kasi mami-miss ko ang UPM lalo na ang FRAT...at si...silang lahat...

hay naku, sana malinawan na talaga ako..pero sana kapag luminaw utak ko at mapagtanto ko kung ano mangyayari dito sa thought na ito...maging maayos na ang lahat...nonsense na ata 'to at alam kong maasar babasa nito...wala lang akong magawa...

friendly friends...

2005-03-04T14:30:00.000+08:00

Hay sobrang natuwa naman ako at may mga taong pumapansin sa blog ko... sobrang nagulat talaga ako dahil marami ang nagcomment sa last entry ko... at sobrang naiyak din ako sa mga comments nyo..huhuhu...

Gusto ko lang linawin na hindi ko na sya iniiyakan...as you all said "He's not worth it"... saka halos isang taon na rin naman ung lumipas simula nung graduation (last day) natin eh... Sana huwag kayong masyadong mag-alala sakin kasi nung time na ginawa ko yung blog entry na yun eh wala lang talaga akong magawa at may pinagsisisihan lang akong mga bagay pero hindi kasama dun ung pagpapaalam sa kanya nung totoo...

Eto lang masasabi ko, masarap yung may special someone kang matatawag...pero sa kabila nito, hindi dapat sa kanya umikot ang mundo mo... hindi mo dapat hayaang masira ang buong buhay mo dahil lang sa isang tao... maraming mga tao ang MAS masasaktan kapag nawala ka... masaya ako dahil maraming nagmamahal sa'kin...

Isa pa po masaya na ko sa buhay ko ngayon at normal na ang takbo ng mga bagay-bagay... sa totoo lang hindi ko na sya masyadong naiisip pero hindi ko naman masabi na hindi ko na talaga sya mahal... ang importante sa'kin ngayon ay ang mga KAIBIGAN ko na SOBRANG NAGMAMAHAL sa'kin... isa pa hindi ako mamatay dahil lang sa kanya...sabi nga sa kanta ni Avril "If you don't care well I don't care...".

Tama na nga yan, alam nyo ba na maraming masasayang alaala ang high school namin? Kahit na sobrang pinahihirapan kami ng mga teachers namin eh masaya pa rin ang buhay ng mga actians (IV-1)... Dito ko nakilala yung mga matatawag ko talaga na tunay na kaibigan... marami ring nakakaiyak at nakakatawang moments kami together... pinaka hindi ko talaga makakalimutan nung third year kami kasi sobrang nagkaisa talaga kami nun... Pagtulungan ba naman kasi kami ng ibang sections at nagkampihan silang lahat kahit na wala naman kaming ginawang masama... Dito namin napatunayan na kaya naming harapin lahat ng masasakit na salita at mga paratang basta magkakasama kami... Dedma nga lang yung mga paninira nila samin eh...

Nung fourth year naman sobrang open na kami sa isa't isa at kapatid na ang turing namin sa isa't isa... Natutulog kami sa classroom, nagcu-cut ng sabay-sabay, naghaharutan at nagkakasundo sa mga kabaliwan namin... nakakamiss talaga ang actians...

eto pala ung class pic namin...

wala lang...

2005-02-17T08:58:00.000+08:00

Minsan hindi ko maintindihan ang buhay. Maraming mga bagay na nagyayari na hindi mo inaasahan at maaaring hindi mo gusto pero wala kang magawa para pigilan ito. Ang tanging magagawa mo lamang ay isiping may dahilan kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay-bagay.

Dati naniniwala ako na ang mga sugat na nararamdaman mo ay maghihilom sa paglipas ng panahon. Oo, noon, iyon ang pinaniniwalaan ko pero lahat ng bagay nagbabago pati na paniniwala natin lalo na kapag nandoon ka na sa sitwasyong iyon. Mahirap malimutan ang sakit na naidulot ng mga pangyayaring sa umpisa pa lang hindi mo na ginusto. Alam mong hindi dapat pero ayaw papigil ng puso mo. Alam mong masasaktan ka pero wala kang magawa para labanan ang sinasabi ng puso mo. At dahil nga wala kang magawa, makikisakay ka na lang sa agos ng mga pangyayari. Masasaktan ka at yun ang pinakamasaklap na maari mong maramdaman. Parang hindi mo kakayanin ang unti-unting pagkadurog ng puso mo. Sa una parang wala lang pero habang tumatagal mas mararamdaman mo ang pagkawasak ng puso mo at ang hirap nitong tanggapin. Sisisihin mo ang puso mo pero wala ring mangyayari. Siya na rin ang nagsabi na masarap pero masakit ang umibig.

Alam ko na ngayon na hindi madaling kalimutan ang isang taong minahal mo ng lubusan. Pinilit kong kalimutan ang lahat ng masasakit na alaala at itinira lamang ang masasaya ngunit hindi iyon naging madali. Iniwasan ko ang mga bagay at lugar na makapagpapaalala sa kanya pero ang hirap talaga. Dumating na nga sa punto na gusto ko na lang isipin na hindi ko sya nakilala kahit kailan pero wala pa rin. Isang bagay ang natutunan ko, kapag mahal o minahal mo ang isang tao, hindi na sya mabubura sa isip mo, o kung mabura man sya sa isip mo, mananatili pa rin sya sa puso mo.

Bakit ko nga ba to sinasabi? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin alam. Siguro dahil marami na namang bagay ang nagpapaalala sa kanya. Sa loob ng tatlong taon, isang tao pa rin ang nasa puso ko at nahihirapan na ako. Nasira na nga ang pagkakaibigan namin dahil dito pero ayaw pa rin talagang tumigil ng pasaway kong puso. Gusto kong maniwala sa sinabi nya na magkaibigan pa rin kami at walang magbabago pero mahirap paniwalaan ang isang bagay na hindi mo nakikita at nararamdaman. Sana nga ganon, sana lang.

“Sabi ko suko na ako. Sabi ko di na kita mahal. Sabi ko malilimutan rin kita. Sabi ko di na kita kailangan. Sabi ko okay na ko. Sabi ko yun… pero hindi yun ang nasa puso ko.”

i hope it''s you....

2005-01-06T18:30:00.000+08:00

malapit na naman ang hearts day! kaso wala pa rin akong lovelife...kasi naman ayaw pang kalimutan ang nakaraan...but there's someone important and special in my life right now...wala na kong masabi sa taong to! he's one of the best things that came into my life last year...hahaha..nakakatawa lang kasi di ko inaasahan na may mafefeel ako for him...anyway, i''d like to share this song from ntwine...

I HOPE IT'S YOU

Are you real or are you a dream
Are you true, or not what it seem
Cause I've been there before
Don't wanna hurt myself no more oh no no

Someone who feels for me
Who's constantly inlove with me
And cares for me
Someone who won't say goodbye
Someone who can change my life

I hope its you, I hope its you

Will you stay, or will you leave
Shall I doubt, or shall I believe
Cause I've been there before
Don't wanna hurt myself no more oh no no

Someone who feels for me
Who's constantly inlove with me
And cares for me
Someone who won't say goodbye
Someone who can change my life

I hope its you, I hope its you

How will I know
If you're gonna be here tomorrow
Tell me baby how can I say
When there's no other way
But to give you my heart, my love
I'm trusting from this time
Baby don't break my heart

Someone who feels for me
Who's constantly inlove with me
And cares for me
Someone who won't say goodbye
Someone who can change my life
Someone who feels for me
Who's constantly inlove with me
And cares for me
Someone who won't say goodbye
Someone who can change my life

I hope its you, I hope its you

happiest moment in 2004

2004-12-31T10:55:00.000+08:00

thank God YE batch 17 is over! grabe akala ko talaga hindi yun matutuloy kasi wala kaming pondo pero napatunayan ko na nothing is impossible with God for He provides. medyo mahirap maging mother of the house pero masaya at sobrang nakakatuwa kapag alam mo na may mga taong kang nadala papalapit kay God. Dec 27-30 yung Youth Encounter at sa loob ng tatlong araw at tatlong gabing yun, mas lalo kong napatunayan na mas masarap kapag maraming nagmamahal sa'yo. Nakakatuwa yung mga participants kasi naghanda pa sila ng isang surprise number para pasalamatan kami. kumanta sila ng kaibigan at salamat...alam ko sobrang pinaghirapan at pinaghandaan nila yun kasi flashlight lang yung ginamit nilang ilaw sa pagsusulat ng lyrics nun dahil pinapatay na namin yung ilaw...sobrang nakakawala nang pagod lalo na't alam mong naappreciate nila yung ginawa namin.

Sobrang saya talaga namin ni kuya Roy (father of the house) nung matapos yun kasi nga ang daming naging problema nung YE na yun...una, wala kaming pondo....nung nakahanap na kami ng mga sponsors para sa food, wala namang confirmed na participants...kaya nung 26 ng gabi nagbigay na kami ng taning na hanggang 12 noon ng 27, kelangan makakuha kami ng at least 15 participants kaya ayun gabi na rin kami nakauwi at inumaga pa nga yung iba para lang matuloy yung YE...at 8 pm ng 27, nagulat kami kasi 15 participants na yung nandun sa prince n princess kaya nagstart na kami ng session....by 12 mn... mas lalo kaming nagulat dahil meron na kaming 25 participants all in all...unfortunately, 2 yung hindi nakatapos ng encounter kasi yung isa tumakas nung madaling araw ng 27 at yung isa ay umuwi pero ok lang inisip na lang namin na hindi pa ngayon yung time para ma-experience nila yung YE...at yung remaining 23 participants ay alam kong naging masaya din at marami silang natutunan at alam kong hindi nila malilimutan tong encounter nila with God kasi yun din yung naramdaman ko nung nag-YE ako...batch 15.

sobrang laki talaga ng pagpapasalamat ko sa lahat ng tumulong samin para maging successful yung YE...totoo yung sinabi ni JC sa'kin na "God will make a way". Nagpapasalamat talaga ako sa mga faci namin na nagbigay nang mga sessions...sina ate erlyn, ate juvy, kuya benny, kuya obet, kuya allan, kuya edward, kuya voltaire, kuya anton at kuya lino...ganun din sa staff na kahit walang tulog eh tumutulong pa rin...sina j-mar, ben, kuye emman, kuya bodjie, arvy, princess, ruth, dhen, ifher, claire, ghala, otan, mark at yung iba pa...lalo na pala kay nhong na nagbudget ng pera at kay jc na tumulong sakin para sa liturgy...salamat talaga sa kanilang lahat pati na dun sa di ko nabanggit...

this year, 2005, promise ko kay Lord na tutulong pa ko para mas dumami pa yung mga madala namin palapit sa kanya at patuloy pa rin akong magseserve sa kanya kasi dun ko nararamdaman yung true happiness...

YE motto: "No love, no friendship, can ever cross our paths, without affecting us in some ways.....forever."

Happy this Christmas!

2004-12-25T14:42:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas! I'm so happy today! Kagabi pa lang sobrang saya na sa 9 pm mass kasi nandun ung mga friends ko at crushes na rin at syempre kasama ko ung family ko. Ang daming nangyayari sa bakasyon na to...ngaragan sa YE at projects sa school pero masaya at enjoy pa rin kasi kadamay ang mga friends...actually nami-miss ko yung mga friends ko lalo na yung di man lang nagpaparamdam...hehehe..nagdadrama lang... cge next time ulit!

result of my personality disorder test!

2004-12-14T08:47:00.000+08:00

Di naman masama ang result ng test....

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

haaayyyy....

2004-08-30T10:06:00.000+08:00

Salamat talaga at natapos na rin ang performance test namin sa pe.
last thurs since walang pasok dahil bumabagyo nagkita-kita kaming magkakabarkada...nakakatuwa nga kasi sobrang na-miss namin ang isa't isa...ang dami ko ngang natutunang bago sa kanila at syempre mga chismax tungkol sa aming mga actians...syempre kinwento nila ung nagyari sa reunion at grabe yung iba sa kanila hindi pa rin nagbabago medyo may pagka-mahangin pa rin...ung iba naman masyadong tinatamaan sa mga e-mail na hindi naman sila ang pinatutungkulan...haaayyyy...pero 1 thing for sure nami-miss namin ang isa't isa lalo na ang mga rush hours at puyatan dahil sa hirap ng buhay sa rhs....
1 thing na napatunayan ko sa sarili ko nung saturday...mahirap kalimutan ang isang taong malaki ang naging parte sa buhay mo at minahal mo talaga...sa mga makakabasa nito alam ko di lahat maiintindihan kung ano gusto kong sabihin...basta sobrang hindi ko in-expect na ganun ung mararamdaman ko nung nag-usap kami ni MD.napatunayan kong mali lahat ng akala ko...ung tungkol naman kay Red hindi ko maintindihan basta alam ko masya ako pag nakakasama ko sya....
haaayyyy...buhay nga naman ang saya! maraming karanasan na hindi mo makakalimutan at maraming tao na mahirap talagang talikuran...totoo nga yung YE motto namin na "No love, no friendship...can ever cross our paths without affecting us in some ways...forever." :)

i miss the actians!

2004-08-25T17:49:00.000+08:00

Nami-miss ko na talaga ang mga cute na actians... grabe lakas ng ulan ngayon at wala akong magawa kaya nag-online na lang ako...nakakatuwa naman at naka-online din ang barkada ko kaya masaya. at least kaya sa cyberspace eh nakakapag-usap kami. (parang free writing tong ginagawa ko ah).
anyway, masaya ang life lalo na kapag madami kang friends. may kakulitan parang c dian na ka-chat ko ngayon. dapat magrereview ako ngayon eh para pumasa ko sa exam sa nstp at math pero mamaya na lang kasi sa sat. pa naman un eh. tamad ko talaga..wala na ko masabi next time na lang ulit.:)

life is so happy!

2004-08-23T09:07:00.000+08:00

Grabe ang saya-saya talaga ng life! Kahit na medyo marami akong pinoproblemang mga bagay e nakakatuwa pa rin ang mga nangyayari sakin.
Kahapon sobrang saya ng field trip namin sa bulacan (ako masaya talaga pero di ko alam kung ganon din ung iba kong classmate). Actually, hanggang ngayon medyo masakit pa rin ung katawan ko pano ba naman nadulas ako sa putikan. Nung pumasok kasi kami sa santol cave sa biak na bato e madulas at maputik dahil umulan nung nakaraang gabi. Tapos un nung naglalakad na kami papasok nadulas ako sa may tubig. Talagang napaupo ako pero tawa pa rin ako ng tawa (ag tanga ko kasi nadulas ako). Buti na lang tinulungan ako ni Karlo na tumayo dun sa putikan at buti walang masyadong nakakita nun kundi nakakahiya talaga. Pero kahit na ganon at putik-putik ako paglabas e sobrang saya pa rin kasi achievement yun ha. Tapos yun naligo na kami sa ilog dun. Nung una ang lamig nung tubig pero ok lang masaya pa rin ako.Basta Aug.22 ay isang napaka-memorable na araw sa aking college life.
Ngayon naman masaya ako kasi kanina nakasabay ko sa dyip ung bestfriend kong si Rafael. Nagulat nga ako e kasi nung nasa Rotonda na ko tinawag nya ko tapos sumakay na ko dun sa jeep na sinasakyan nya. Grabe na-miss ko talaga sya! Pero natutuwa nga ako sa kanya kasi nung high school kami di sya tumatawag sa bahay (kasi siguro araw-araw naman kami nagkikita) pero ngayon madalas na syang tumatawag at pag kami magkausap ang tagal kasi yun ang dami-daming kwento. Nakakatuwa nga kasi naalala ko kung pano kami naging mag-bestfriend e feeling ko nga accidental lang na naging close kami nung 2nd year e. Medyo nagsisisi nga ako kasi di ako nagpunta sa get together ng actians nung saturday pero masaya na ko na nakita ko ulit yung bestfriend after nung b-day ko.
Lastly, kaya ako masaya kasi feeling ko nahanap ko na ung taong tutulong sakin para makalimutan ko na rin si MD. Pano ba naman magtatatlong taon na di ko pa rin sya nakakalimutan. Pero ngayon masaya ako kasi medyo nakakalimutan ko na sya dahil sa isang taong sobrang importante sa buhay ko ngayon si Red (???) pero di ko pa rin sigurado kasi di ko alam kung gusto ko na sya eh pero at least dahil sa kanya hindi ko naiisip si MD. Wish ko lag sya na nga yun!

bad trip na pe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-08-03T08:58:00.000+08:00

Hay naku, bad trip talaga si prof sa pe....napaka-fair daw ng weather kaya pinag-jogging nya kami sa labas tapos yun biglang umulan nabasa tuloy kami...pero ok lang din kasi may masaya kong nabasa sa e-mail....