love is too complicated... a cliche statement but we all know that it is true..everyone gets a bit crazy when it comes to love because you cannot and just simply use your intellect when it comes to this topic.yes, you read it right..it is not easy to use your intellect when it comes to love and you also cannot use just pure emotions..that makes it so complicated...
i've loved different guys in the past yet i've never learned to play this game called love. and yes, I am in love now at believe me, it is not easy to love him..he's the type of guy you can fall in love with so easily but what I'm experiencing now is what's not easy.
Andy is the kind of kind you can easily fall for...simply because he's simple..he says what he wants to say. he is a family man, which i like the most...has a good sense of humor...and the most important quality that I'm looking for in a guy - he is God fearing and a servant as well. he didn't come from a well-off family but he has a good heart. he is sensitive to the feelings of the people around him...and he cares a lot.. I could list more qualities here but let's get it to the point...Yes, I'm in love with this guys.. truly, madly, deeply in love with this guy.
we had been going out since november last year just to get to know each other more and through time, things had changed a lot. we had been more intimate now and yet, he doesn't love me. yes, he doesn't love me despite the fact that i'm deeply in love with him. why? i don't know as well.. and as i've said, we're intimate with each other..we hold hands when we go out..well, not everytime or the whole time but should we do that if there's nothing going on between us..and how many times have i cried over him? i cannot remember but one big deal between us was a girl..a friend of him since high school (if i remember it right)..who is in love with him as well..but yes, i said "was a girl"...well, basically because just a few days ago, he told me that he's sure now that he's not in love with the girl..he thought he likes her but now he's sure that he only like her as a friend...
just a few days ago i was crying every night just because of him and the girl...well, we've been seeing each other every day for months because I just like hanging out with them in the church..and that's been my way of releasing stress from everything..just being with him, just being there beside him, makes me feel better everyday...but then a week ago, that was wednesday, he told me that he already said goodbye to the girl..and of course I was happy but not for long..after a few minutes he also told me that we won't be seeing each other as well..that I should not go there (church) everyday and that he wants to be alone...and i was like "why me? why did you suddenly decided to do that? i'm not her" but of course i didn't tell that to him..i just told him that it's ok..if that's what he really wants.and so there goes my dark days...yes, i was crying every night thinking why..and until now i still don't have the answers...
i've been doing everything for him and yet i think love isn't enough...so now i'm asking myself if it is still right to love him...
Y by Parokya ni Edgar
Search your mind for the questions
Of the answers that I seek
Close your eyes just imagine
Us together walking down the street
Do you think this is crazy
I don't know that of which I speak
I don't care just as long as you are there
Watching, listening, or swaying to the beat
Tell me why should it matter
Tell me why should I even care
Of the things that could go wrong
Baby I can't hold for long
For you to know that I am there
Tell me why
Hear the words that I'm saying
Hear them echo in your heart
For I know at this moment
I know that I have done my part...done my part
