the other night i was browsing through my multiply site and looked up at his multiply site... that was the first time that i read through his blogs which dated from 2009-2006...i was started reading through the 2009 entries down to his very first blog entry...while reading through his blog entries, a lot of questions are popping in my mind... that was the first time that i realized that behind his happy personality is a man who had been badly hurt because of love... i was just speculating based on what i read but i felt his pain and realized that maybe...just maybe, this is the reason for his hesitation... i guess he had been hurt bad his past experience and might be afraid to fall in love again... i wanted to talk to him about it but i don't know how...i don't know where to start...
as i was going through his blogs, my fear had dawn back on me... i suddenly realized that my inner fear is still there... my fear of loving and getting hurt again... when he was still my crush my closest friends (especially best) know how much i'm trying to control my feelings... first reason, i don't want to fall for a friend again because i don't want our friendship to get ruined...2nd reason is that i'm afraid to get hurt again... i'm afraid of falling in love for a friend again because i had a bad experience before... it happened during my high school days... i've fallen for my closest friend only to realize that he's falling for our classmate and worst of it, he always tell me about her and he cried and talked to me when they broke up... those we're the hardest times of my life... when i told him about my feelings, he didn't talk to me again... and this happened not just once... i don't want this to happen to us now... i really like him...
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
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